LITTLE BROTHERS NO MORE!

My little brothers are no longer little but are grown fine men now, ready to serve their country.

A few years back, I would nurse and care for them. Feed them, play with them, look after them while my parents go to work. I was their doting sister. And now, as the wheel of life turns, my brothers are already the ones looking after me.

Four years ago, my two brothers were scraggly college students. While I and my parents struggle to keep them at school, the two started to weave their dream of entering the Philippine Military Academy.

               

What started to be a hard journey has blossomed into a promising one. My brothers have survived their military training and education. And at long last, they are ready to embark on a new adventure. Their future may seem so uncertain for now. But the same God who has called them into the military shall protect and preserve them.

lil' brothers with proud dad and mom

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THE BEE

She was dubbed as The Bee because it is what her name “Debbie” means. And like a real bee, I had never seen her idle, not even once. She was always busy. If not working, she was busy doings crafts, reading or learning new stuffs from electricity to carpentry, from baking to gardening, from arts to science. She was always hungry for anything that would be worth learning...

     How did I meet The Bee? It started when I was a sophomore in college. I was looking for a room to rent and it was all God’s leading that I found a room in her place, I call The Dome.

     I fell in love with The Dome immediately when I moved in. It was cramped with books. And boy how I love those books. Some were already collecting dusts, dog- eared and tattered. Some were still new. Some were lying on the floor. Some can be found at the comfort room. Some were at the kitchen. They were everywhere. Because The Bee reads everywhere The Dome.

     Often, when I would go home after my class, I would find The Bee deeply burrowed under her books. It was her hunger for knowledge that kept me so drawn to her. And so, I wanted to be like her. I began to read whatever she had read and marvel at whatever newfound learning I may have had.   

     Apart from reading, The Bee loved arts. Again, this has fascinated me because I also love doing crafts. Whatever she would dip her fingers on, I and some roommates in The Dome would also follow. We were her “tug- alongs.” We would go bowling or cycling at Burnham Park. We would go to the movies or have a movie marathon at home. We would dine at some restaurants to sample some fine cuisines. We would try this and that. And my five years of living in The Dome with The Bee were fruitful years of learning and growing.

     I had always regarded The Bee as INVINCIBLE. I thought she was indestructible. Then, came the cancer.

     The cancer had conquered her. It had momentarily stopped her from her busyness here on earth. But I am pretty sure The Bee continues to be busy...This time, busy singing songs to Her Maker.

     The Bee is gone. But the humongous impact she had made in my life lives on.

WHAT FILIPINOS LOVE ABOUT NOONTIME SHOWS

It’s Showtime!Eat Bulaga. 

    These have become part of every Filipino’s household. These two rival noontime shows are the craze of every Filipino. I bet my one week allowance from my husband that one would likely find the TV set of every Juan tuned in to either of these two noontime shows.

 

    My husband asked me one time while I was watching Showtime, “What’s in noontime shows that Filipinos love them?” I just ignored him and firmly held the remote control for fear that he would snatch it and switch the channel to BTV or NBA. But the question lingered in my mind and so goes this musing on noontime shows.

     There is just one answer to the question. Plain entertainment.

     Filipinos love to be entertained. They love to laugh. I guess this is part of the good- natured character of every Juan. We simply could not go through our days without our share of laughter and what better way to do this than to watch Vice Ganda make banters to others in the show or listen to the pick-up lines of the contestants in their segment “I am Pogay.” This may sound too shallow to others but at least, it helps lighten the load of worries in the daily life of every Juan.

OF REASON AND PASSION

Of reason and passion? A topic that is quite the favorite of every philosopher or those who aspire to be one. I am neither of the two   but this topic became dear to me because of one wise poet and philosopher, Kahlil Gibran.

    Quoting from the sage in his book “The Prophet;”

“.....Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.

If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid- seas.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.....”

   

    These two elements are often in conflict with one another. They are not harmonized and so a discord is created within an individual. These two are like wolves inside each person; whatever is fed more often is the one that rules.

    Many men become obsessed with reason alone. They succumb into the idea of greatness and controlling power of knowing everything. As Kahlil Gibran said, it is such a confining force. The effect? Unwise decisions. Ego- bloatedness. Miscalculated facts.  Misjudgements. Misguided reason. Conflicts with men. Conflicts within the self. A fool.

    And yet many men also succumb into the pitfalls of unguarded passion. As they embrace the worldly desires; wealth, fame, beauty, and power, they are unaware that they are digging graves for themselves. We could learn from a lot of people from the bowels of history. Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Michael Jackson, just to name a few. For passion, unattended is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

    How then can we harmonize passion and reason?

    The sage advises;

“... Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing;

And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.”

    Translated simply as “Let your reason guide your passion.” The two should always be together but one should be above the other. Reason should be above your passion. This way, the mind is in control of your desires. It tempers them. It weighs what is good or bad and should always favor that what is good and right. 

THE PERKS OF HAVING A HUSBAND

 When I was still unmarried, I used to do things on my own, go to places on my own, eat whatever I want, blurt out my ideas to myself, and think only for my own interest. There were just too many of the stuffs that I used to do independently. I was only accountable to myself. Just I, me, and myself. I never had to worry of somebody getting hurt if I do this or that or not do this or that. But now that I am married, everything has changed.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This article is not about regretting getting married. In fact, this is supposed to highlight the benefits of having a husband as the title reflects.

For a newly married bride like me, having a husband is heaven as there is someone to cuddle with at night in bed. There is someone to whisper sweet nothings in my ears to ease away the blues of the day. There is someone to assure me that there will be another tomorrow after a long haggard day from work. There is someone to cook my meals as I never really cook. There is someone to massage my foot. There is someone to compliment my “early morning face.”

There is someone to give me allowance for the week. There is someone to listen to my endless rants of blah-blah-blahs. There is someone like a handyman to fix things for me. There is someone to hand me my things. There is someone to carry things for me. There is just someone in everything.

And that someone is not just somebody. He is my husband, a gift from God, to be my partner in every venture I would take in life. A husband who shall love me unconditionally. A husband who shall gently reprimand me for my stubborn ways. A husband who shall serve as my refuge in times of trials. A husband to temper my moods. I guess, these are just among the many perks of having a husband. So, for the single ladies out there what are you waiting for? GO, grab yourself a husband.(lols)

WAS MOM BIPOLAR?

From what I have learned from my Psychology subjects, bipolar is a mental disorder where an individual would have bouts of mood swings. One moment, an individual would have “highs” then after sometime, he would have his “lows.” It is for the bouts of mood swings that I associate bipolarity with my Mom.

    You see, when I was growing up, I would often wonder why my Mom always has two faces- one that is gentle and one that is punishing, one that is comforting and one that is reprimanding, one that is lenient and one that is strict, one that is so sweet and one that looks like a witch. Such “bipolar character” of Mom was often a puzzle to me. Is she mad or something? I never understood why there seemed to be two persons inside her.

As a kid, I would just want Mom to be sweet, gentle and kind. I wanted her to be yielding. I did not like her “witch and kill-joy part.”  Now that I have become a mother myself everything has become clear. Mom is not bipolar at all. The reason why she seemed to have had two opposing characters is that it is her nature as a mother. Every Mom is wired to be like that. It seems like it is part of every Mom’s genetic make- up.

Bea-U-tiful Mom

  Mom’s “bipolar nature” had actually taught me valuable lessons in life. Her nurturing nature taught me to be loving and kind. Her reprimands taught me to be cautious and responsible for my actions. Her strictness taught me to be just. When she was unyielding to my caprices as a child, she was actually teaching me that not everything in life would be easily had. Yet when she was lenient, she was also teaching me to enjoy life.

Whether Mom’s “bipolarity” was by purpose or not, I think it had served its purpose. It had shaped and moulded me to become the Mom that I am now. I have caught the gene and now I am bipolar too. 

THE DIAPER BATTLE

Before I gave birth to my baby girl, “diaper” is a strange word to me. While it is true that I have nephews and nieces, I was never the type who would bother to meddle with the caring and nursing of these little ones. I keep myself away from these little tyrants. I may cuddle them or play with them but only for a short period of time. And so, of course I never get the chance to change diapers. My ignorance may come shocking to everyone but I would admit that I have never even touched a diaper not until the day I gave birth.    

Well, I am not proud of my embarrassing firsthand experience of changing a diaper. I do not know why I have not thought of learning how to do it before the big D-Day. It just slipped off my mind because I had assumed my husband knows how to do it. It appeared I had assumed too much.

When the nurse brought in my baby to reunite with me after my operation, all the motherly instincts came rushing in. I held her in my arms, smelled her, kissed her, touched her, and fed her. But I was not prepared that after feeding would come the “pooping.” My motherly instincts failed when it came to changing diapers.

The same nurse came in to check on me and on the baby and said I have to change the soiled diaper. All the while, I was thinking the nurse would help me. To my horror, she left me struggling with the diaper and the screaming baby. I honestly did not know what I was doing and so I screamed at my husband to call the nurse back.  My husband said the task was so simple and he took over. Yet he also struggled with the diaper while muttering that I should have called my mother to teach me all the things I needed to learn about caring for the baby. After a few minutes of struggle, my husband finally managed to fasten the diaper. To disguise my shame, I just said I could not function well with my CS cut.

But what did my first changing diaper- experience teach me? That wives should not assume their husbands know how to change diapers and vice versa. Kidding aside, my first diaper battle opened my mind to a whole new world. It is just one among the wonderful experiences that a parent could marvel upon while on the road to parenthood. And while I struggle to learn everything about how to nurse and care for my baby, I carry with me the hopes of every parent that his/her child shall be brought up well and become great someday.

So, here's how to change a diaper:

1.	Open up a new clean diaper and place the back half (the half with tabs on either side) under your baby. The top of the back half should come up to your baby's waist. Now the clean diaper is ready to go – and is there to protect your changing table from getting dirty. (If your baby's dirty diaper is a big mess, you might want to lay a cloth, towel, or disposable pad under your baby instead of the clean diaper while you clean up your baby.)
2.	Unfasten the tabs on the dirty diaper. To prevent them from sticking to your baby, fold them over.
3.	Pull down the front half of the dirty diaper. If your baby is a boy, you might want to cover his penis with a clean cloth or another diaper so he doesn't pee on either of you.
4.	If there's poop in the diaper, use the front half of the diaper to wipe the bulk of it off your baby's bottom.
5.	Fold the dirty diaper in half under your baby, clean side up. (This provides a layer of protection between the clean diaper and your baby's unclean bottom.) To do this, you'll need to lift your baby's bottom off the table by grasping both ankles with one hand and gently lifting upward.
6.	Clean your baby's front with a damp baby wipe, cloth, or gauze. If your baby's a girl, wipe from front to back (toward her bottom). This helps keep bacteria from causing an infection.
7.	If your baby pooped, grab another wipe and clean her bottom. You can either lift her legs or roll her gently to one side then the other. Be sure to clean in the creases of your baby's thighs and buttocks, too.
8.	Let your baby's skin air dry for a few moments or pat it dry with a clean cloth. To help treat or prevent diaper rash, you may want to apply rash cream or petroleum jelly. (The best defense against diaper rash is a dry bottom, achieved through regular diaper checks and changes.)
9.	Remove the dirty diaper and set it aside. If you followed step one, the clean one should be underneath your baby, ready to go.
10.	Pull the front half of the clean diaper up to your baby's tummy. For a boy, be sure to point the penis down so he's less likely to pee over the top of the diaper.
11.	If your baby is a newborn, avoid covering the umbilical cord stump until it's dried and fallen off. You can buy special disposable diapers with a notch cut out for the stump or fold down the front half of a regular diaper.
12.	Make sure that the part of the diaper between your baby's legs is spread as wide as seems comfortable. Too much bunching in that area can cause chafing and discomfort.
13.	Fasten the diaper at both sides with the tabs. The diaper should be snug but not so tight that it pinches. Make sure the tabs aren't sticking to your baby's skin.
14.	All changed!